peace and love to all,
got some good news, your brother has lost 30 pounds in the last 5 months. How do you ask? No it's not the economy putting a dent on my kebob and bacalao budget. It's a new diet I've come up with, there is no need for exercise and the diet is super cheap and easy to implement. You want in, sounds to good to be true? Ok maybe I didn't invent it but I am one of the first to implement it. It's all natural and has been implemented for at least 1oo years (maybe even longer, I just can't speak the same language as it's originators or I would ask them) So what is it, can't stand the suspense? I call it the "Gorilla Diet". Think about it, Gorillas are some of the strongest beings on the planet. Do they lift weights, no. Do they drink creatine shakes, powebars, gatorade? no, no and emphatically no.
Well how do they do it? the eat nuts, bananas and berries. That's all you have to do, forget about hitting the treadmill for 30 minutes. You ever see a gorilla on a treadmill? Do they drink fiji water, evian water, do they pay 6.99 for a gallon of smart water? no, no and probably not (seeming how they don't even have pockets, let alone bank accounts). What do they drink? water out of puddles on the ground, water off of leaves just lying around in the jungle.
next week I'll lay out a extensive plan on how you can implement my gorilla workout, I'm just going to give your brain a couple of days to wrap around the reality of this groundbreaking workout regiment.